Let me just come forward: I am no good when it comes to making up blog post titles. My practical side always shines through, thus you are now stuck with a boring title, eventhough it does cover the contents of this post perfectly.
I am still enjoying the after effects of the good time I had yesterday. A good time, shared with friends. Friends I did not know a hear and a half ago. And I am still amazed this could happen. You see, for most of my life I have been a loner. Without delving into details: I grew up with a limited exposure to other kids. Add in the fact that I am a pretty introvert person, and I could count the friends I had on the fingers of one hand. And none of them I shared soemthing deep with, always keeping a bit of a distance to protect myself from harm. In college it dwindled down even further. And at the end of my first 4 years in college, I was left with only my girlfriend (my now ex-wife), after I found out that of all the people I knew in college, the poeple I counted as friends only used me for reports and such. Fast forward two deaths, a birth, and a failed marriage. Despite me being quite okay with being alone, I was pretty lonely. I did have one friend, but i rarely saw her. Mostly on the account of me being an ass and not wanting to show up and disturb the relationship she was starting up at the time.
And then, shy of a year and a half ago, I met my girlfriend. We hit it off pretty fast, and I took it upon myself to never repeat the mistakes of the past. And I landed and settled in her circle of friends. And wouldn’t you know it, they became my friends too. And I was shocked. For the first time I had a circle of people around me who didn’t judge. They met me, they saw I was okay people, and that was it. It was up to me to be myself. And that was/is highly confusing and enlighting at the same time. I am enjoying every minute of it. The serious talks, the hearty laughs and the sad moments. I still am getting used to it all, still feeling the pressure from inside to make sure I can compensate for what I feel that they are giving me (as in: for most of my life I was always judged on what I did/give versus what I was givven, and mostly it always had to be more from my side to compensate a trickle from the other side). But I know that isn’t necessary. And I enjoy every moment of it.
Dammit: An introvert even was made to dance thanks to these great people.
Life can and will smile on you, when it feels you deserve it the most.